Cancer Stereotypes vs Reality
How My Child Looks Doesn’t Represent Her Cancer Story
I don’t love it when people comment on how Pey looks or how she behaves as being directly related to where she is in her cancer story. I often hear that she doesn’t look sick or you wouldn’t know she has cancer by looking at her. I know people are trying to be nice, maybe trying to be comforting but I can’t help but think “what is she supposed to look like?” I feel many people have a visual in their heads of what a person with cancer would look like. Completely bald, pale, dark circles around their eyes, the picture of fragility. However, this image doesn’t represent the full picture of how cancer treatment affects the people going through it. There are so many variables on how a person (both children and adults) will react, look, behave, and how long they are on treatment. However, tv shows and movies have projected the same stereotypical “look” of someone with cancer for so long that most people wouldn’t expect to see someone being active with rosy cheeks, maintaining their weight, and with no visible hair loss.
Early on in my career, I realized that the sickly child that tv and movies like to present isn’t the whole picture. I have seen children be active and full of energy while undergoing treatment and I’ve seen the other side where the child just feels miserable and wants to watch movies all day. They also don’t lose their hair immediately. I have witnessed parents and children decide to just shave their heads as their hair became patchy. Pey didn’t become a beautifully bald baby with all her scars on full display until about 4 months into treatment. She was predominantly in a good mood, playful, and willing to smile at everyone that spoke to her. Once her hair started growing back, we started getting more comments about how she must be doing so well because she looks well. Unfortunately, it is a long road often over the course of several years to become “cured” or a “survivor.” We are a long way from that as there is still evidence of disease. So how great she looks right now doesn’t represent how she is doing overall.
Since giving up my Gray’s Anatomy obsession many years ago, I tend not to watch non-reality tv medical dramas so I felt a little out of touch if there had been more advancements in how cancer is depicted in tv shows and movies. I have watched shows like Jane the Virgin which in the later seasons saw Jane’s mom diagnosed with cancer. I think they did a rather decent depiction of cancer although not exactly real life. But I wondered what images people are being shown, which led me down a Google rabbit hole. Some articles described the advancements of tv shows and movies using cancer as a storyline. From a time when cancer was not talked about at all to being the focus of a series and everything in between. However, most still follow the same path. Someone gets cancer, immediately loses their hair or shaves it, gets some treatment, may or may not pass away depending on whether it is a main or ancillary character, and then life resumes as it did before. I came across an article “TV and Movies Get Cancer All Wrong” on Vice. In the article, several people who were diagnosed with cancer were asked the worst stereotypes they have seen on tv or in movies about cancer. They mentioned being portrayed as sickly, vulnerable, frail, being bald meant you were close to dying and recovery after completing treatment is simple and life goes back to normal. One responder felt cancer storylines were merely used as a plot device to kill off a character. This instills to viewers the idea that a cancer diagnosis automatically leads to death. However, this is not the case. As more advancements in technology and chemotherapy treatments are made, survival rates have increased. When I began my career Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) had a 5-year survival rate somewhere in the 80% range, but as of 2019 is now in the 90's. Pey is currently on Accutane (yes, the acne medication) several days a month because some genius discovered that it can help certain cancer cells to absorb chemotherapy medications better. Also, some non-operable (i.e. cannot be surgically removed) brain tumors can be managed with chemotherapy. Wouldn’t something like that make a great storyline? A child looks completely “normal,” starts a new chemotherapy regimen, loses no hair, is able to remain in school and extracurricular activities for years. That is a real synopsis of a patient I took care of.
Our child’s cancer stories are intrinsically different not only because they are individuals but there are so many factors that affect their response such as their specific cancer treatment protocols, personality, and support system. Television and movies create these stereotypes and misconceptions about people with cancer which are frustrating. Although they may have improved compared to 30 years ago, there is still a long way to go. In reality, children are who they are. They will have bad days when the side effects of cancer treatment are similar to how it is depicted on tv and in movies. However, they will have amazing days where they are just themselves. Running laps around their crib, racing hospital staff up and down hallways, decorating their hospital room for Halloween, and planning for college. Some will have hair or not, have surgical scars or not, spend a large portion of their treatment in a hospital or not. Every cancer story is unique and should be represented that way. I hope that there continues to be advancements in cancer’s depiction to become more truthful but maybe a few days of daily treatment, weekly treatment, or monthly treatment isn’t exciting enough for tv or movies. Oh, if only they could follow us, parents, as we struggle to get our children in the car on the way to a doctor’s appointment, keep them entertained/comfortable during treatment and all the while balancing all the other things in our lives. Where’s that tv show?
What’s the most frustrating misconception about your child’s cancer story? I am most frustrated when people think her treatment is done because she looks healthy. Leave yours in the comments below.
Don’t forget to subscribe to our blog!
